Response: I am the Priest

This is a response to Reality Doug’s article: Stop Building Cathedrals.

For those who are curious, this is part of a conversation about what modern men are to do. Aurini’s work, found here. My response. His response, which I shall discuss here, towards the end. The meat of the article will be my reaction to the Stop Building Cathedrals.

There’s a lot in there I understand, whether I agree with it or not. My response can be summed up with: I am the Priest, but I have been shirking my duties.

MK is postmodern because he wants the steak without the blood. He wants upper masculinity without the lower masculinity that evolved first. He wants to preserve his faith as deposited in him by human others.

And he’s partially right. I recognize that I want a proper relationship with a woman, yet I do not want to deal with ugliness that comes along with it. I don’t want to have to fight for leadership, or deal with shit tests or any number of other things people in relationships do deal with. I don’t want to fight, because I’m afraid that stripped down to my lower masculinity, I won’t like what I find. And if it’s let out, will it go back in?

Lower Masculinity, by which I am interpreting as ideas like instinct, violence, sex, hope and desire, is something I am divorced from since childbirth. I am unable (as of writing) to enjoy meaningless sex, not because it is a sin, but because, to use the same metaphor, there is blood in the steak. Because I didn’t want to have sex with a slut, but with a devoted virgin. In that, an ideal was destroyed. (Good or bad?) But this is basic. Lets talk about faith.

Faith is something I understand. While the trappings of church and other Christians elude me, I am able to navigate what I consider faith. This isn’t the blind faith of an unseeing man. I am a doubting Thomas who has seen, heard and read of enough proof that there is a jealous, benevolent God, that is, Jehovah/Yahweh etc. I know that many of the gods of others, such as Allah (Islam) Krishna (Hindi) and so on are false. Their divines are weak, demons more than likely. Back to Christianity.

There is that famous verse: Teach up a child… And in that, there is some brainwashing. But that brainwashing was part of the foundation for my, and I presume, your civilization for an age.  The only reason you and others complain or call it out in your manner, is because civilization no longer rewards that behavior. I would never have the problems I have in other ages. I would have other problems, like being a medieval peasant, land wars with the Campbell family in old Scotland or doing my damnedest not to starve in a potato famine. The difference of the three is that they don’t challenge what I believe. There is no reason to doubt God if there is no evolution and that saint’s relic just healed that dude.

The problem now is that I have the tools and ability to reason beyond where am I going to find a potato, I’m thinking about my greater purpose in society. I was raised to be a cog, I’ve known that for a long time. I want to be a cog, but not in this machine. There is no grease for a cog like me, unless you count used thirty year old sluts with mixed race kids who are certainly not mine, grease.

And it has nothing to do with my absolute faith in God. I’m a burnt out churchian. I literally just got off the phone with my dad who questioned my faith because I didn’t go to church today. It’s part of the reason I’m having problems participating in Churchian society. He wants me to be a cog in his machine, that HE profited from.

Part of the problem is that, as Reality Doug says, I am looking for a priest. I don’t want to begin the part of the journey I have to walk alone unguided. I left small groups (the bridges unburnt) and other organizations, in part because that’s how I deal with separation (begin a head of time) and because it seemed the proper way to begin the next step. Perhaps I looked to the likes of Aurini, Vox Day and others of the Manosphere for guidance, when I need to just figure it out myself. When I go to publish my novella, it’ll be Castalita House through Vox Day. When I want to think about deeper things, I’ll read Aurini. But when I divine the truth, it’ll be the Millenial King.

But as I desire to be a cog, I had forgotten I am my own priest. In my mind, the greatest non-metaphysical separation of true Protestant vs. true Catholic is the need for an altar. The Catholics need altars and priests to confess to to get close to God. As a Protestant, I need no such thing. I am my own priest.

I come to God directly. I may be a student of the things Aurini is himself a student of, but I should not be a student of Aurini. And maybe that was causing me some grief at a lower level. I was replacing what I needed to do myself with things that others said. I think Aurini being an atheist yet knowing  Christianity as he does is odd, but I am a Christian. He’s still worth listening to, though. And looking to him for answers was wrong of me. I have to seek those answers out. The eternal, as Reality Doug describes what I would call God, has given me the tools to become wise. But that’s all I can talk about it in this context. I just need to start doing it.

I am becoming a new Barbarian. I’ve got to learn to be comfortable with that. Stop fighting the culture, and, as Jack Donovan said, find others like myself. Maybe time will have me visit with various members of the manosphere, to talk about things, to share and share alike what we know. That’s what men do. And we will become wiser for it.

I am reminded of the books of the Redwall series by Brian Jacques. The evil barbarian rat and stoat warlords always had some sort of seer to divine the future and assist with guiding the tribe of marauders.

Now to bring this to what my blog is named . A king is an intercessor for his people. While the Bible may or may not directly say it’s that, the actions of the holy kings of Israel, as well as Jesus himself, said as much. I need to learn to ‘intercess’ for myself and others. As well as to learn the true balance that a priest may straddle. As a priest king, I am not more responsible for the souls of those I care about than they are, but I should pray for them none-the-less. I should find that wisdom particular to priests, as I’ll need it. And then the backbone to not be intimidated by whatever.

We might be a by-product of the Eternal, but the Eternal is knowable. By mastering this knowledge, we understand the deeper meaning of ourselves. The Dark Enlightenment has the same message as Christianity, that man is not good, but differs then, in salvation. Reason or Christ? I have both. And for the Christian, that is the best answer.

From Aurini’s Enjoy the decline article, the last statement I’ll make today. Truly enjoying the decline isn’t nihilism. It’s becoming  what you can be OVER what society says you should be. And enjoying the journey. It’s a damn good answer.

“Enjoy the Decline” is not a screed of pessimism – but of Hope.  Hope in the satisfactory, hope in the self, hope in the overcoming – the pragmatism to recognize the limitations of the self, and the age in which one lives, seeking the eternal in all that we do upon this Earth.


5 thoughts on “Response: I am the Priest

  1. I was moved by your sincere openness untainted by hurt or fawning. I think men who know they are lost at being men are far ahead in masculinity that those who never were. Happy trails on your search for answers to live by.

    Here’s some unsolicited advice, I mean well, and certainly take this with a grain of salt: I think you need to own your lower masculinity, which is little different than owning your emotions (liasion between consciousness and instincts). Practising seduction in the field among strangers where you can make mistakes will teach you how to deal with women (and men). You don’t need to actually have sex with a slut to practice seduction. You could experiment with what would make her want to have sex (and don’t) or to kiss you or even to just smile and like you. It is surprisingly consistent and shallow the way it works. I think politics on the scale of office politics are of the same social essence as mating from the female perspective, but muted. This is the age of feminism. Their survival need are met.

    What I am getting at is the Art of Husbandry. Masculine methods of force are verboten because we are not patriarchs. We are left with female instict triggers. You don’t want to go through life tripping them indiscriminately. No one needs Game more that a husband, but the best way to learn is sarging, which is hindered by being married, obviously. Just watching people from a bench to infer a short bio is a great way to learn how to read people, and with women the read is crucial, at work or wherever.

    Your genie is already out of the bottle, perhaps too often at the command of someone or something else. You think you are equipped with lower masculinity as your divine liability and not your divine tool? Are you lost externally or internally? I’d look all over, but I think you are right, you must lead and search for yourself. There’s no education like self-education. Just making a choice on a learning strategy and acting on it is success. You will feel what I mean. The reality of contradictory data crashing in on your mind is creative destruction, the first step in developing what is called inner game. Getting comfortable with new emotional possibilities is the second step, and that might be what’s before you.

    Looking forward to reading about your future thoughts and experiences in that Seinfeld sense of profound abstraction to fundamental values.

  2. @Reality Doug
    I’m reading Roosh’s Day Game right now, and the one thing it made me realize is that the *only* true challenge most of us are allowed to face – the only initiation into manhood – is overcoming the fear of approaching girls.

    Is it pathetic that game is the closest thing we have to virtue? Yes. But that doesn’t make it any less true.

    1. Yes, 100% agree that initiation is based on initial execution attempts of seduction. However, I see tons of virtue in Game, and I won’t let the Manosphere being sullied change my opinion of the term Manosphere anymore than PUA, gay, etc.

      Game is training of masculine virtue but applied only in Yin terms of translating our masculine wants into actionable female terms. Our masculine wants are generally more sublime if we don’t go down to the fem-think level as our highest aspirations. What I mean is the Art of Husbandry. Women and children are fundamentally less than men, yet human. Thus, the Yin approach is more peaceful though more resource intensive. The other type of human husbandry requires violence on purpose not emotion, just like subcommunication on purpose. Game is the Art of Husbandry we can practice without outright legal prohibition.

      Just listened to your hour long podcast. Great stuff. I agree with 90+% exactly. Helps me know I’m not insane. lol Highlight ideas: don’t feed the ‘bears’ and don’t step on your own dick. Damn, that last one is a classic I’ll carry with me to the grave. ‘Evolution is my bible’, until I find a better guide. Not sure what you meant by that line. And Game is intrinsically amoral. It can be used for constructive purposes or not, and it is husbandry, whether of sluts for pump and dump or for wives of whatever stripe. Thanks for explaining the madonna-whore complex. I had that. However, I think you wanting a capable partner is a philosophical misuse of woman. She must become an extension of you, or she is not a good wife. Women are ‘good’ or not because of men. It is a nebulous mix of specific men and men at large. Can’t be a patriarch husband w/o male popular support. Problem is women mature quickly by primitive non-rewritable calibration. I DO want a virgin for marriage, not any more to baske in her purity and morality but to complement my masculinity as a secondary extension and to be a fully actualized patriarch. Though I want that, the institution of marriage is a misnomer today. It is the elite patriarchy’s institution of divorce rape. I would rather take on baby moma’s and live nearby, giving more than child support only if I have submissive ‘wives’. I don’t have the money for that adaptation for the riches of family. Never let the bitch share a residence, but get a virgin under 22 if you must try.

      I will give a little hint to @MK and Free Northerner and those type who have not figured it out. The intellectual club has a shit test initiation like the carousel club. I highly suspect that Aurini, like some others surely do, is championing religion not for himself but for you. You people are dangerous, at least by being in the way, without some shrink-wrap distilled frame work of absolutes for right and wrong social behavior. Some people are natural aristocracy and some are not. (I am not physically. I am just a keyboard jockey who wishes he knew then what he knows now.) Dynasties of open nobility were started by superior specimens of men, both mind and body. With greater technology, superiority of mind matter more, but there is an oligarchic club that prevents rivals, and for us in the rank and file, stripped of male popular sovereignty by intellectual design, physical strength matters substantially. The government will not make or wield swords for us.

      Yah, I make friends easily. I don’t think emotional bonding is bonding at all. I think chemistry is bonding, per the laws of nature, and emotions of fellowship are the symptoms of bonding but not the causes. Meaning well is what gets nice guys into trouble, and me if I don’t treat them with Husbandry. I write this as a fisher but not keeper of men who have the potential to riddle me thus and become proto-patriarchs, capable aspirants to first class rank. Hint: First class does not depend on permission, but let me go ask my wife.

      Riddle me this: What is morality? Your answer defines your function, defines your class. Thus said Zarathustra’s cousin’s barber of the white and red strips.

  3. Forgot one other practical concern where I might respectfully have a different perspective. Women in marriage stop putting out when they believe their survival needs are met without the relationship AND their reproductive needs are better served elsewhere. Hence, Dread Game is necessary to keep the sex in marriage hot and gratuitous, at least that is my theoratical understanding.

    Sadly, what women reward is what they are:

    Play your balls the way the field lies, or you won’t get your balls fielded much. Entendre there, eh.

  4. “but with a devoted virgin. In that, an ideal was destroyed. (Good or bad?) But this is basic. ”

    The best one can get is a woman broken over her sin who cannot go back to being a virgin. As men live in the muck of sin so do women.

    This culture marginalizes Masculinity and so even myself gets an introduction to masculinity via “game”. And ditto Aurini for pointing out our lack of initiation rituals for men and the pathetic substitute that we have been given.

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